Semiversary Post (Refresh 007)

White Elephant

Recently I’ve taken an interest in North Korea after watching a documentary by the National Geographic Channel. North Korea is known to the world as one of the few remaining communist countries to date. We wonder how the lone rogue state manages to exist without any dependence to the rest of the world, save for a lone flight from Beijing every once in a while. But amidst the hostile relations to its neighbors, some major parts of North Korea have prospered (one way or the other).

Ignoring its slums, concentration camps, frostbitten youth, and malnourished farmers, North Korea derives most of its macho bragging rights from its beautiful capital, Pyongyang. While the rest of the country suffers and dies “for the great leader,” some lucky citizens get to live a “happy” life in this modern metropolis. Sure, Pyongyang comes complete with gigantic Bronze Statues, huge eight-lane avenues, and colossal hotels. However, since you need a permit to drive around the city in your own car, the highways are rarely used. Since no one is allowed to take any pictures, the statues are rarely watched. And since no one outside of North Korea is allowed to take a stroll anywhere near downtown Pyongyang, the 102-storey behemoth of a hotel lies unfinished after twenty years since its construction started. Propelled by a strong Juche (its meaning roughly translated as “up yours”) ideology and backed by Nuclear weapons, North Korea manages to wow the world with by hiding behind its white elephants. However, that’s what those things will always be – white elephants.

What is a white elephant? From North Korea we travel to Southeast Asia to explore the roots of the term. In countries like Burma, Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia where elephants were used like cars, forklifts, and tow trucks, they are revered as beautiful and useful beasts of burden. Every once in a blue moon, an elephant of pure white is born. These in turn are watched with great care by the monarchs of the land. They will go all the way to make sure that the white elephant, a symbol that the monarch is ruling with justice, peace, and prosperity, is treated like a king. Instead of working for the king, the king will serve the elephant to maintain his status as a great leader. And that’s how the modern term “white elephant” is born. In today’s times, a white elephant is something with a very high upkeep cost, but without any good use.

It’s not only North Korea or Thailand that has white elephants. Our very own country has a few of those beasts hidden under its sleeves. I don’t know if it’s only me, but I see a common white elephant fascination between dictators. If Kim Jong Il has Pyongyang, then our very own Ferdinand Marcos has the Bataan Nuclear Power Plant. More than two billion of our people’s money wasted on a fully operational power plant that was never allowed to operate because of politics. And while were still paying for the original debts and upkeep cost of Bataan, here comes President Ramos with his very own white skinned pet. Just like the power plant, NAIA terminal III is another huge jewel that sits unused and unpaid. If you think we’ve already had enough, GMA enters the pen with her own mammoth – the COMELEC’s Automated Counting Machines. More of our people’s hard earned money was used to pay for something that wasn’t used because we Filipinos don’t have any trust on each other (for in Filipino politics, the winner is always the cheater). GMA was not done yet. After “winning” (emphasis on the quotes) the elections for her second term, she brings us another white pachyderm – the ZTE broadband deal. At 35.5 Billion pesos, it dwarfs the 2 Billion Peso Nuclear Power Plant, even though the latter was based on a pre-people power peso-dollar exchange. Although narrowly averted, in its wake our politicians continue to fight against each other instead of working for the country, thus is the case of the Lower House’s coup d’état against Speaker Jose De Venecia. I don’t have the exact figures but I know that the country has P3,000,000,000.00 (that’s three trillion pesos) in debt. Like Adam and Eve’s original sin, each Filipino is born with a debt to pay.

If we continue to think negatively and consider every problem as another reason to leave the country, then maybe that debt will never be paid. If we continue to work for our diplomas and not for the sake of knowledge, then why not get one customized from Recto. If I remember right, the most memorized part of the Alma Mater Hymn goes like “We strive for the fame and the glory; Of the M and I and T." Nowadays, its becomes more of the other way around, people using the good name of the school to get their dream jobs, but not bringing any bacon back home. Let’s not treat our education like white elephants and do something productive for a change.

***

Just a few bits of random information before I finish, I wasn’t able to find a good place for these so allow me to cram all of these here. Did you know that all the numbers before one thousand, that’s 1-999, don’t contain the letter ‘a?’ Try it yourself. Also, since one of my teachers mentioned it, I myself began to wonder why the west building classrooms have pillars smack dab in the middle. Being a school that pioneered architecture and civil engineering in the country, I’m sure the designers had a good reason other than to provide students with something to lean on during boring lectures and something to hide behind when cheating during exams. Another thing I observed is that all the wirings and piping are located outside the walls. Aren’t those supposed to be hidden or something? I think those are for “educational demonstration purposes,” right? Right? Right! I also wonder about the chemical composition of the brownish, yellowish, liquid that drops off from the exposed pipes, and why Mapua could spare some cash to buy a “Caution Wet Floor” sign rather than fix the leak itself. I wonder if it’s only me, but do you notice the “Speak English” or “Converse in English” signs located throughout the school? I tell you they’re there, in case you haven’t noticed yet. But have you seen the “Please Erase the Chalkboard” sign located on some classroom doors? Why would they erase the chalkboard? I’m sure that most classrooms already have whiteboards. Even if it said “whiteboard” on the sign, it would still be wrong. Ever since I studied elementary English, I know that you should erase the writings on the board and not the board itself. Did you know that the North, South, and Admin buildings are one of the strongest buildings in the country? It is said that they could withstand quakes up to intensity 7, which is more than I can say for the Western group of buildings. Also, did you know that you need to climb a foot when walking from the north to the northwest building? And that you have to climb three more steps to get to the west building? These are just tiny faults, but as the makers of the blue prints, we should struggle to fulfill our part. (repeat chorus)

Alma Mater your name and your story
We raise our glad voices to thee
We will strive for the fame and the glory
Of the M and the I and the T.

I had my fun, now you should react. Email us at tnb@mapua.edu.ph. However, since the TNB computers now act as breeding grounds where new viruses are born every minute, you should also forward a copy to my personal mail at ismalakas@gmail.com. Thank you to Ma’am Ilonggo Registrar… I forgot the name, sorry… for helping me during the enrollment period. It’s nice to know that the registrars do serve the students with a smile. Keep up the good work. I brought you butterscotch but the ants got them first. Sorry. To Ate Beth Congratulations for getting 8^th place in the board exams! I’m seeing your picture all over the review centers now. Here’s one Mapuan who’s doing her part. To Kuya Ray and Ninong, ex-builders who are now big-time corporate dudes, thanks for the free McDonald’s (Pronounced as mekdonalds). To Ate Anna, Photoshop skills do have their rewards! Congrats to you too. To my Pangga, who was already snoring while I was typing this, happy semiversary! It has already been half a year and were still going strong.