Where’s My Applause II

My last Column sa TNB... as requested by my loves! Lakas mo sakin ga ga eh! I labsh yu! Hehe... Phew Haba nito! Xenxa na hindi ko na na edit to.

Where’s My Applause II

Before I start, I want you to pause for a while and take a deep breath. Let go of all the tension, all the stress, all the failed exams, all the overdue prototypes, all impending reports, all formulae, and all other thoughts that could weigh you down. It’s just you and a blank canvass (preferably a black one, for the purpose of my visualization exercise.) Insert your favorite music in the background and we’re ready to start our musical montage of cool sights and sounds. Take another deep breath and make sure that you continue breathing after that one.

Now think about this - why are you here? As you read my words, be aware that there are millions of other people who are also reading other things at this same moment. As you sit, as you walk, or as you lie there, try to feel the movement around you. Listen to the buzzing of life that surrounds you. How do you feel? As you search your feelings, bear in mind that the minds walking past you have their own feelings and emotions. Love or anger, excitement or angst, joy or sorrow – whatever it may be, emotions are part of living. Emotions are forces that drive us. As Love was clichéd to launch a thousand ships, so was anger long attributed to the fall of civilizations. This means that each and every one of us has the potential to be a world mover. Each of us has a path to take and a life to live, each one of us including yourself. You are but a grain of sand on a desert beach and all the other grains are the people around you. How will you be different? How will you excel? Those questions are for you alone to answer. I’m just here to ask them.

Then again, that’s what I’ve been doing for the past few issues. During the not so long life of my column, I’ve presented situations and ideas that have a single goal – to wake and startle the reader to the realities that he may not be aware of. Time and time again you’ve had a taste of my sarcasm and my between-the-lines rants, but you’ve never been properly introduced to this column that I’ve named Refresh.

Way back then, when I was just conceptualizing what kind of column I would write, I had my sights set on technology and blogging. So the most obvious thing that would satisfy my wants was to be able to make a tech blog. A technology oriented column was my original plan. It was supposed to be named geek speak. Catchy as the title may be, I just didn’t see if I would cater to a big enough audience.

My responsibility as a writer was to inform the community. However, the targeted community was always too preoccupied to deal with the issues that affect them. Therefore, I could not simply rant about something and tell them up front, if I did that it would have been a great bore for most of the readers. So what I did was discuss the things which Mapuans (like me) are generally interested in. Things like computer gaming, technology, fiction, and other stuff which people like us aspire for. And in between those lines, I usually inserted the issues that needed mentioning. That was my little cloak and dagger act.

I was happy with the response. People learned new things and some of them wanted to learn more. I got them thinking. Even though most did not know whether to be proud of ashamed, whether I’m talking for them or against them, or whether what I’m saying is good or bad, cynical or real… that was actually the entire theme of the column. The make those gears inside those heads move again, to REFRESH the reader.

*****
I want to talk about something else entirely out of theme, now that I’ve revealed it. All this time, I wanted to talk about a subject so common that it did not need any discussion for all of us to be familiar with. And even though each grade school pupil has his or her version of it written in those autograph books we used to have as children, I want to give my own version as a final act before I take my bows. What is love?

Some say it’s just a four letter word. Some say love is like candy. Some mention that it is a chemical reaction of endorphins, or happy hormones, secreted by a living organism when induced by external stimuli. Some even go as far as telling us that love is the instinct of the humans to ensure the survival of the species, and that it is the natural vehicle to sex. Some point out that love is their curse. Trust me, during different times of my life, each of those explanations were once mine.

However, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Love will always be love no matter how you define it. Love is something too grand to be captured by words. Some find it sooner, some a little bit later, and some don’t know that it was there all along. Love is a feeling, like flying though the clouds, like seeing someone after being away for a long time, like tasting your favorite food for the first time, like living a dream, like having all the wealth in the world even if you had none. When it happens time stops. Sometimes time goes by too fast. Sometimes it plays along like it normally does.
I don’t seem to be giving you a clear picture of what I’m trying to say. Oh well, I least I tried. *grin*
*****

I did not take graduation seriously until about three or four weeks before this term will end. This is my last term here in the institute and I must say that college went by like a breeze. I miss those times when the biggest of my problems was that I was not getting the most frags in a counterstrike game. Indeed, my programming skills were handy in those days when I would spend entire nights programming the AI for my Ragnarock bot. My laundry was piled high because I tend to use all of my money to buy Gunbound weapons and armor. DoTA was not too friendly to my time and budget either.

But those were the good ‘ol days, and education took a serious and time draining turn during the last legs of my second year. Prototypes, term papers, reports, engineering lettering… they all disturbed the harmony of my gaming life. But even with all the evils education wrought upon me, it must have been a fun four years because it went by soooo fast. Now the Graduation song by Vitamin C is playing inside my head like it once did when high school was about to end. However, unlike high school where I did not want to let go of the life I was used too, college graduation feels like a one long countdown to my proverbial shuttle launch. I can’t wait to have my go at this game called real life. Ready or not, here I come!

*****

I am not fond of long greetings but since this will be the last, please give me the honor of thanking all of those people whose paths I’ve crossed. First thank you to my family, for all the support you’ve given me. I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go. I know that I am still young and that I still have much to learn, but I thank you for trusting me to fend for myself and I thank you even more for being always behind me when I needed you. I also want to that the Rosales Family, Tita Bern, Tito Roger, Ian and Ryan, for being my family away from home. Thank you for you patience, thank you for your guidance, thank you for treating me like a son. Next I want to thank sir ‘Jong’ Belano. Without him, I might have not gotten past second year. All the meringue in the world is not enough to thank you. Next I want to thank all the friends that added color to my college life. Tonix, Gretchen, Camille, Reign, Mek, Leo, Mark, Maki, Rachel, Harold… and everyone else. I may not remember all of you names, but you know who you are. Thank you for the OTs, thank you for the company, thank you for the fun, thank you for all the good times. I’m going to miss you guys. I hope no bonds will break after we graduate. To my high school friends who never became strangers after our high school graduation. Paul, Jian, Benj, Carina, Barbie, Kristine, Ian, Jovar, Aufael, Emben, AJ, Mark Kim, Albert, Eric, Neco, Efren, Joanna, and all the others who were just one text away when you needed a familiar face. Even though you may never read this, I just want my thank yous to be printed in black in white. To the New Builder, thank you for your patience and thank you for bearing with my impatience. Kuya Ace, Kuya Nico, Kuya Ray, Ate Anna, Ate Beth, Ate Grace (and Ate Eunice), thank you for choosing me to be part of your Big Family. I hope I did not let you down as a writer and as a friend. To all my batchmates: Ninong, Armand, Stephen, Mel, Dothz, Nash, and the rest who did not make it, thank you for turning the office into our second (or in my case third) home. Cutting class, escaping boring subjects, and long break times would not be half as fun if you guys were not around. To the new Builders, Venz, Tessa, Harold, TessQ, Patty, and Joe, we chose you guys to continue the work we once did and I know that we did not make a mistake. You have managed to exceed my expectations and bit better jobs than what we once did. Congratulations and keep it up. To our every-present adviser, Sir Benny, thank you for understanding our different personalities and may you continue to lead the New Builder and make it even better than it is now. To my Baby… you will always be. Hehehe… I would like to take this last opportunity to thank you for all the love. Even though I can not define love for everyone, I am very much confident with my own definition of love, and that is Yu. ^3^ I won’t bother to leave my contact information this time, but I want to thank you my dear readers for being a good audience all throughout my writing career. Congratulations to all those who will graduate this June. And with that I take my final bow. Godspeed to you all.